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Pearl
2000
The Ultimate Janis Joplin Show
Written
by: Mark Etheredge Oct 2000
Pearl/Janis:
La' Bia Quoit:
Having attained near legendary status singing in any other language bar
Texan, La' Bia has successfully recorded an album of contemporary "Lifestyle"
music, winning trans Pacific, Atlantic, and Vestite accolades. Currently
performing with a variety of travelling dwarfs, she has been noticed loitering
at numerous festivals with the specific intent of appearing as Co-host.
Her most recent achievement was to touch John Farnham on the shoulder
at a music industry dinner. Police records tend to paint a rather more
delicate region.
Rant Clemens-Clement:
Discovered in the far north of far north Tasmania performing with a reputed
anti-logging trio. Has so far improved his renowned ability to out consume
all comers in the fields of mind altering substances, pot still whisky,
and potent Indian hemp; currently second only to Keith Richards, and two
other dead guys. His favourite colour is still blue. Boasts an above average
XXOS manhood.
Raôul San
Bernardi:
Dismal failure in retail hardware. Reverted to semi useful community position
as lollypop person, until restraining order caused temporary holiday at
government's pleasure. Has written unpublished handbook "Old age and associated
pensions" for the elderly on pensions. Dislikes animals. Has spent previous
year in bed.
Lars Thigh:
Maintains mythical status amongst masochists by regular demonstrations
of own invention: the "Cactiguitar", a musical instrument made completely
from Extremis painfulness, a rare succulent of Mexican origin grown into
the shape of CBS Stratocasters and strung with aged arrowmint. Recently
stepped out of the closet and straight into the bedroom for yet another
escapade on "Lars Thigh - this is your wardrobe".
Stig Maraschino:
No information
currently available. Pending an inquiry.
Tob Lambrosquano:
Ditto as above.
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